My life's fun but is so full of uncertainities and fears...
Ok...I feel like I really want to talk to someone, but can't at the moment since I haven't had the chance to talk to all my friends at the moment.
And I'm not even sure if I want to talk to anyone at the same time...
But, I noticed that I haven't exactly been feeling all joyous and happy these past few days, so, to lighten the load of my mind and chest, I will post my current thoughts and feelings in this blog.
[I hope no one will judge me negatively for this...*sweatdrop*]
ok...I shall start. First, I will share what's happened in the past few days.
1)I arrive home from Zambales
2)I went to mall since it was my friend's b-day (movies and yellow cab :D)
3)Finished Gundam Seed at my friend's house
4)Went to the dentist regarding the 'extraction' of my wisdom teeth (very scary coz he told me and my mom the risks...)
5)Meeting my best friend after months of separation and finding out she's taking review classes
That's what's been happening recently...
Next, I shall share what's been on my mind....
I've been thinking a lot after my encounter with my best friend. I felt uneasy when I found out when she's taking review classes. She's extremely smart pa! Also everyone I know is taking review classes. Why is this such a big deal? BECAUSE! I"M NOT TAKING REVIEW CLASSES!!! I may be the type to get around high to average grades, but I lack a great deal of self-confidence. And I'm especially scared that I won't pass the UPCAT exams... :( I most certainly don't want that to ever happen! To be the first in my family to fail the UPCAT...I don't even want to think about it...
The reasons anyone would ask me as to why don't I take the review then are:
1)my dad's saying: "No guts, no glory."
2)my 'motto' in my friendster account: "I'm not afraid of a challenge..."
3)No one in my family has ever taken the review
4)And most of all: majority of the people closest to me believe I don't need to take the review...
I also want to be more independent and have more confindence in my capabilities. But I have this fear in me that always takes over no matter how much I reassure myself that things will turn out fine. The fear of failing, being left behind, losing the chance to make others proud and happy for me...
I just don't know what to think anymore...
I even made a list of I wanted to do in the future...how much I wanted to change and become a better person without changing who I really am...
I'm sooo confused and insecure and also scared (since I'm getting my report card tomorrow).
*deep sigh* I just hope everything does turn out alright in the end, no matter what happens...
And...I pray from deep within my heart that I can the future head on with a brave heart.
And I'm not even sure if I want to talk to anyone at the same time...
But, I noticed that I haven't exactly been feeling all joyous and happy these past few days, so, to lighten the load of my mind and chest, I will post my current thoughts and feelings in this blog.
[I hope no one will judge me negatively for this...*sweatdrop*]
ok...I shall start. First, I will share what's happened in the past few days.
1)I arrive home from Zambales
2)I went to mall since it was my friend's b-day (movies and yellow cab :D)
3)Finished Gundam Seed at my friend's house
4)Went to the dentist regarding the 'extraction' of my wisdom teeth (very scary coz he told me and my mom the risks...)
5)Meeting my best friend after months of separation and finding out she's taking review classes
That's what's been happening recently...
Next, I shall share what's been on my mind....
I've been thinking a lot after my encounter with my best friend. I felt uneasy when I found out when she's taking review classes. She's extremely smart pa! Also everyone I know is taking review classes. Why is this such a big deal? BECAUSE! I"M NOT TAKING REVIEW CLASSES!!! I may be the type to get around high to average grades, but I lack a great deal of self-confidence. And I'm especially scared that I won't pass the UPCAT exams... :( I most certainly don't want that to ever happen! To be the first in my family to fail the UPCAT...I don't even want to think about it...
The reasons anyone would ask me as to why don't I take the review then are:
1)my dad's saying: "No guts, no glory."
2)my 'motto' in my friendster account: "I'm not afraid of a challenge..."
3)No one in my family has ever taken the review
4)And most of all: majority of the people closest to me believe I don't need to take the review...
I also want to be more independent and have more confindence in my capabilities. But I have this fear in me that always takes over no matter how much I reassure myself that things will turn out fine. The fear of failing, being left behind, losing the chance to make others proud and happy for me...
I just don't know what to think anymore...
I even made a list of I wanted to do in the future...how much I wanted to change and become a better person without changing who I really am...
I'm sooo confused and insecure and also scared (since I'm getting my report card tomorrow).
*deep sigh* I just hope everything does turn out alright in the end, no matter what happens...
And...I pray from deep within my heart that I can the future head on with a brave heart.
posted by Reena Ferrer at 1:13 AM
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