After sooo long...
I might say its been quite a long while... :D
about roughly 2 months if I remember correctly.
Well, a lot has happened since then and I feel like taking a moment to ponder and reflect on what's happened.
You could say that I've been feeling melancholic lately...
But if I must put it into words...I'd say that I am utterly exhausted, drained and bitter. Not that I'm not happy or anything. But let's just say that I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know why I'm feeling somewhat upset.
Maybe I should go through what's happened since the upcat (which was my constant topic in my previous posts). :)
Anna Lou, Frances, Kyla R., Kyla J., & Asami are now blackbelts. :D That day, I could only stare and watch them in awe and pride. They were just so amazing. And they were so...syncronized with their forms and skilled with everything else. It makes me very happy that God has given me the chance to be active in the sport of Taekwondo. I honestly shed tears when I thought of the chance of quitting the sport if I had no time when I reached college. I hope that never happens and pray to God it never will. Aside from that, the 1st trimester exams were okay...although I know I could've done better. But what's done is done. I can only do my best to pull up my sadly not above average grades...sad since this is the year were my grades are beginning to drop. On the bright side, seniors won the sapag. We deserve it!
Also, intrams was a blast! We definitely improved but lost by one point. That's no loss though(Manalo, matalo, basta may colegio!). I won almost every minor sport I joined. Not to mentioned that I broke my glasses on several occassions (sack race and agawang buko :D ). It made our batch one and united! All for one and one for four! Let's go seniors! And the Acet was okay, not as deadly as upcat.
I love my grad pics as well. :D not my formal though! :P
I even took the promotion last week. I hope I skipped and now a red belt, but that's something I will still find out in a few weeks time. I must also add that I experienced being drunk or rather tipsy for the 1st time. I drank 5-6 glasses of white wine in one hour I think. It made me very light-headed, a sensation that was rather odd and, at that time, foreign to me. What caught me off guard, however, was the searing headache that came to me after a few hours! It was horrible. I could't even walk straight & I couldn't stand the pain in my head. There was a constant pounding in my head, almost as if my head was being banged against a steel concrete wall or something even harder than that. I fell asleep as soon as I was brought to my room to escape the pain and just rest. I even felt a bit sick and disoriented when I woke up (I still had some homework left unfinished). I recovered the next day, thank God.
And that's all the major events since then...
Since my mind is shallow and hazy I forget things easily I regret.
But I must say and conclude that I seem to be wanting more out of my life that I should be very grateful for. I am selfish, truly, but is it wrong to just want something very out of the ordinary? I don't know if it's because of my obsession over anime or reading too much fanfics that has clouded my mind with such longing, but, nevertheless, that's how I feel. With much dismay, I fully acknowledge the fact I should wake up and face reality and deal with my priorities. Alas, my mind and body are tired for I've done everything in my power for the past 4 years (since grade 7) to rise and get exellent grades. I fear that I've grown weary and easily distracted. I am now even writing in a style I don't normally use. How strange...
I feel as if I am living an inferno that slowly drains my life energy away...not that I feel so much remorse to the brink that I'm suicidal. Just...maybe...I need a break. For how long, I am not sure. I wish I can find an answer and some solution to the chaos and confusion that is currently consuming my mind....
Sayonara for now....
Sincerly
Kagome
about roughly 2 months if I remember correctly.
Well, a lot has happened since then and I feel like taking a moment to ponder and reflect on what's happened.
You could say that I've been feeling melancholic lately...
But if I must put it into words...I'd say that I am utterly exhausted, drained and bitter. Not that I'm not happy or anything. But let's just say that I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know why I'm feeling somewhat upset.
Maybe I should go through what's happened since the upcat (which was my constant topic in my previous posts). :)
Anna Lou, Frances, Kyla R., Kyla J., & Asami are now blackbelts. :D That day, I could only stare and watch them in awe and pride. They were just so amazing. And they were so...syncronized with their forms and skilled with everything else. It makes me very happy that God has given me the chance to be active in the sport of Taekwondo. I honestly shed tears when I thought of the chance of quitting the sport if I had no time when I reached college. I hope that never happens and pray to God it never will. Aside from that, the 1st trimester exams were okay...although I know I could've done better. But what's done is done. I can only do my best to pull up my sadly not above average grades...sad since this is the year were my grades are beginning to drop. On the bright side, seniors won the sapag. We deserve it!
Also, intrams was a blast! We definitely improved but lost by one point. That's no loss though(Manalo, matalo, basta may colegio!). I won almost every minor sport I joined. Not to mentioned that I broke my glasses on several occassions (sack race and agawang buko :D ). It made our batch one and united! All for one and one for four! Let's go seniors! And the Acet was okay, not as deadly as upcat.
I love my grad pics as well. :D not my formal though! :P
I even took the promotion last week. I hope I skipped and now a red belt, but that's something I will still find out in a few weeks time. I must also add that I experienced being drunk or rather tipsy for the 1st time. I drank 5-6 glasses of white wine in one hour I think. It made me very light-headed, a sensation that was rather odd and, at that time, foreign to me. What caught me off guard, however, was the searing headache that came to me after a few hours! It was horrible. I could't even walk straight & I couldn't stand the pain in my head. There was a constant pounding in my head, almost as if my head was being banged against a steel concrete wall or something even harder than that. I fell asleep as soon as I was brought to my room to escape the pain and just rest. I even felt a bit sick and disoriented when I woke up (I still had some homework left unfinished). I recovered the next day, thank God.
And that's all the major events since then...
Since my mind is shallow and hazy I forget things easily I regret.
But I must say and conclude that I seem to be wanting more out of my life that I should be very grateful for. I am selfish, truly, but is it wrong to just want something very out of the ordinary? I don't know if it's because of my obsession over anime or reading too much fanfics that has clouded my mind with such longing, but, nevertheless, that's how I feel. With much dismay, I fully acknowledge the fact I should wake up and face reality and deal with my priorities. Alas, my mind and body are tired for I've done everything in my power for the past 4 years (since grade 7) to rise and get exellent grades. I fear that I've grown weary and easily distracted. I am now even writing in a style I don't normally use. How strange...
I feel as if I am living an inferno that slowly drains my life energy away...not that I feel so much remorse to the brink that I'm suicidal. Just...maybe...I need a break. For how long, I am not sure. I wish I can find an answer and some solution to the chaos and confusion that is currently consuming my mind....
Sayonara for now....
Sincerly
Kagome
posted by Reena Ferrer at 11:19 PM
1 comments
